DD 071-075.99 (Tony)The Onion Presents: Our Dumb Century. 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source (071 Our)

Various Authors

Remember those guys in High School who would sit around a table and make fun of the stories from the local news? These were the ones who, when assigned to bring an news article to History/Civics class, brought in an advertisment for a produce sale at the Piggly Wiggly. They also tended to write in a vote for Johnny Depp for school president, print the answer key to Mrs. Moore's 4th period Chemistry exam, and when asked to recite the pledge of allegance during assembly, shouted out the words to the "GI JOE" theme song. These guys also would yell "You sank my Battleship" when the teacher was running down the answers to a multiple choice test.

So where are these mockers of American values now?

They're either working on SNL's Weekend Update, Comedy Central's Daily Show, or writing for the Guerilla Newspaper "The Onion" (or writing this blog along with his beautiful wife). Founded in 1988 from their headquarters in NEW YORK CITY, which happens to be in the state of New York, the Onion has published a weekly national publication which takes the average USA TODAY or NEW YORK POST approach to the news and affairs of the world around us and mixes in a hearty dose of satire, mockery, and parody. The effects are hilarious.

Published in 1999, Our Dumb Century takes a page out of every Newspaper and magazine campaign to commerate the passing of the 20th Century. It was written as a parody of other keepsake treasuries that magazines and newspapers across the country issued to celebrate the new millienium. But unlike the other publishings, The Onion had only been in existence since 1988…so they made up 72 years of fake headlines. Despite this approach to journalism in which nothing is sacred, The Onion is not trying to be mean spirited, but merely mocking the ideals and beliefs that no matter how prejudiced to women, blacks, Asians, and elders they may have been or have become, Americans did at one time or another hold dear during the 20th century.

For example, The Onion runs a “story” about a man being the first White Man to enter the Negro leagues. In no way is this story making light of race or the civil rights struggle. In reality, I believe the Onion was saying that exclusion, even if performed by the often excluded, is wrong. And the Onion is not the only comedy machine to point out this anomaly. In a 2004 episode of The Simpsons , Grandpa Simpson laments not doing enough with his life, including not breaking into the Negro leagues ”...as the first white ballplayer.” One should remember that history is a record of not only the high points of humanity, but we must also remember the mistakes we have made. The Onion, in presenting this publication, reminds us through parody and satire of the mistakes we made. ( You can’t take a story about the Bedford Falls Savings and Loan with a serious attitude in relation to the light the Onion sheds on the Depression. It’s clearly a mock-up of the plot to It’s a Wonderful Life.)

And it’s not revisionist history.
A revisionist skips over tragedies like lynchings or the holocaust. The Onion covers these topics in order to remind us who were never there never to forget. And that’s the point of history, to learn from our mistakes in order to not repeat them.

Those interested in subscribing to the Onion can do so by contacting the company in one of TWO WAYS:

by phone at 1.866.4ONIONS (1.866.466.4667).
or go to http://subscribe.theonion.com/product_info.php?products_id=70

Lastly: Here are my Top Five Favorite Headlines from "OUR DUMB CENTURY"
5: AL CAPONE'S REIGN OF TAX-EVADING TERROR FINALLY BROUGHT TO AN END.
4: JACKIE ROBINSON LYNCHED FOR STEALING SECOND
3:MICHAEL JORDAN SHOT FOR HIS SNEAKERS
2: GOD KILLS ORAL ROBERTS FOR FUNDRAISING SHORTFALL
1: WAR DECLARED BY ALL (ANNOUNCEMENT FOR START OF WORLD WAR ONE)